Sharing time, not spending: Lessons from Living in Argentina

So much of who we are is absorbed indirectly—our worldviews shaped by our environments, the languages we speak, and the values our societies uphold. In America, we are taught to fiercely value individualism, to pursue happiness on our own terms. To wait for no one and to take personal responsibility seriously and to cherish our personal space and possessions. Time, both our own and others is to be respected. I hadn’t realized how deeply these ideals were ingrained in me until I arrived in Argentina, a country that would profoundly challenge them. To adapt to the new rhythm of the city, I would have to embrace an entirely new way of living.

On Living in a Collectivist Society-

Argentina, like much of Latin America, is considered a collectivist society. I had always thought that a collective mindset meant hippies in a commune. Yet, I soon discovered that the reality was far more nuanced than sharing a room with tie-dye-wearing strangers preaching peace and love. Collectivism here means sharing—a lot—and it goes beyond partaking in the yerba mate ritual- where a tea like substance is poured in a gourd and shared around a circle of friends. For instance, while you might order your own drink in a US restaurant, here in Argentina, drinks are often ordered in shareable portions, much like the food. When out dancing, it’s common for everyone to drink from the same cup, a level of intimacy that, back home, might only be shared with a significant other. Similarly, greetings here aren’t as simple as waving or giving a handshake, it’s more intimate here- everyone exchanges a kiss on the cheek, demonstrating the warmth and closeness of social interactions in Argentina.

Argentina – where time is shared, not spent

The idea of sharing is not only limited to the tangible, like food and drink, but also extends to the gift of time itself. Oftentimes when people return after traveling in Latin America, for a short vacation or extended time abroad, one of their first observations is that time moves differently than back home. Our perception of time and how things pass is based on our perspectives, and time moves to a different rhythm in collectivist societies.

Growing up, I was always told that time is money. In English, when you gather and hang out with others, you are spending time with them. This time has a cost, and once it is spent, it is gone. There is a scarcity to it. Time is budgeted, much like our other resources. I especially felt this living in Boston; if I wanted to spend time with friends, we would have to make plans up to two weeks in advance to share a simple dinner or grab a coffee. Often, it felt that this was done because human interaction is a requirement to feel OK and need to continue pursuing your own independent ambitions and dreams. This interaction was merely another check on the box; that you were physically there, both spending your own time, but together. And after the allotted 90 minutes, off you went, on to the next thing on your list.

In Spanish, time isn’t spent, it’s shared. You don’t spend time with your friends or loved ones – you share time or moments with them. Compartís tiempo. Here, things are not so much planned; you go with the ebb and flow of things. If plans need to change, there’s no stress. There’s more room to be spontaneous. Here, there is no shortage of time, and when sharing time, it’s for extended periods of time. Sharing time can mean going off on some crazy night out or accompanying someone in the mundane of life and philosophizing its mysteries while sipping on mate; the most important part is the act of sharing. In Spanish, time isn’t seen as a scarcity like it is in English, because sharing comes from a state of abundance.

On Sharing

Sharing is giving without losing. The Argentines, masters of sharing, have taught me that sharing is one of the noblest forms of connecting with our fellow humans because when we share with others, there is always gain, never loss. Sharing cannot be forced. I think in America, at least for myself, we sometimes perceive sharing as the same feeling of when we were children being coerced to ‘share’ our toys. However, this is not the essence of true sharing. True sharing shouldn’t feel like a sacrifice but a natural extension of abundance. It occurs when experiences are so enriching that you instinctively want others to join in the joy with you. This is why Jesus said it is better to give than to receive. By embracing genuine sharing, we deepen our connections, fostering more meaningful and less transactional interactions.

Nowadays, embracing sharing rather than spending time is proving invaluable. In relationships, it’s about enjoying the process itself, rather than fixating on outcomes. Instead of an overfilled calendar, it’s leaving room for spontaneity and the surprises each day may hold. When you are fully present wherever you find yourself, you allow yourself to share openly with those around you. Whether it’s offering your time, lending a listening ear, or simply sharing a cup of coffee, those who give freely often find themselves enriched beyond measure. By sharing more, it can not only enhance our interactions but also enrich our entire outlook on life.

Until next time,

Ross