About two months ago, I began running. To me, running was this mysterious form of craziness. How did people find such an activity enjoyable? 100 miles later of running myself, I think these people are on to something. It turns out that,at least for me, running requires a much more stronger mind than it does body. While running, I have encountered a lot of resistance. At first, it was the initial getting used to running – learning how to breathe. Making sure I ate and drank enough before running but not too much.
Then, as my endurance built up, I encountered a sort of mental block. I knew my body was capable to pushing forward, but my mind wanted to quit. It was done. Some force told myself that I wasn’t able to continue, to keep pushing fourth. Then, I would lose my focus, and my breathing would start to lose it’s cadence, each breath becoming more and more desperate for air, and my body suddenly felt this lack of synchronization, rendering myself to become confused, overheated, sweaty, and disappointed. I would stop running and accept defeat, even though I knew I had more fight to give. I knew I could keep going, why did I stop? Or why did I start walking? What exactly came over me, anyways?
While I’m not sure the answer to every question, here’s a strategy I learned to overcome the enemy of wanting to quit:
Instead of focusing on whatever negative thought that is occupying your mind – not wanting to push forward, the pain, feeling tired, I think of stories and people that move me. I think a lot about my family and their sacrifices that they’ve made, for myself and for others. I don’t think I know people who better embrace the work hard (and I mean really hard) but play harder mentality than my family. I think of the different adversaries that they’ve overcame, and I remember that I can do the same thing. Instead of heaving, my breathing remains constant.
Other times, I’ll think about skiing. This is probably the closest form of flying and flow that I will ever achieve. I imagine myself going on my favorite runs, my favorite patches of the forest, and the feeling of being free, of going down some steep pitches, all the while knowing that I was in control. Just like when I run – I am in control now. My body has more fight in it yet.
Other times, I think about the words. Only the most beautiful and motivating words. Like the word beyond. Is that a shortened form of be + yonder? Or in Italian, it’s più di lá – more than over there. I think of these words, and tell myself, I want to go beyond – and to go beyond, you have to go places that you’ve never been, chasing horizons that are perhaps unseen; and I’m going there now – with my two feet and beating heart.
While focusing on these things, of my favorite stories and victories, and memories, there is no more room for negative thinking; instead, I am renewed with new strength, ready to keep pushing myself farther.
I am not certain what is going on while I’m running; why do I think negative thoughts and want to quit in the first place? How do I remove these negative thoughts from the root? Do I think these thoughts because it’s easier than the action of running itself? And more so, what am I doing exactly when I summon these memories from within? These powerful moments of happiness. What’s happening in my mind then? Am I just distracting myself? Is that all it is? Or is it something more?
Here’s to 100 miles of running – and many more to come. Here’s to the memories of my past and present, and the hope of the future- of arriving beyond where I stand now. And lastly – here’s to having more questions than answers on this journey.